Run For Your Life
Starring Ben Gazzara

Paul Bryan's Journal
3 - 11  August 1966

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3 - 11 August 1966 ("The Inhuman Predicament" part 1 / "Better World Next Time")

Paul is cruising the Mediterranean on the palatial yacht of wealthy businesswoman Rachel Pike (Vera Miles), when his gigolo friend Ramon de Vega inveigles him into a lunch invitation while the ship is in port. Ramon has Rachel in his sites, but she's way ahead of him.

Click the arrow at right to start the video clip.

Return to "The Inhuman Predicament" page or read from Paul's journal about the events of the episode below
See note at end on why Better World Next Time is portrayed as a dream

Journal Entry
Chronology of Events
San Francisco
Wednesday, August 3

Ultimately tedious session with Dr. Mason could have been made a little better by getting some responses to the list of questions I've brought from reading all the source material Barry has been sending me.
But rather than come alive with his own interest in the subject, Mason stated categorically that patients shouldn't read medical journals, and cut me right off, flicking the page of questions back across his desk.
I was extremely disappointed, and headed over to Garms, hoping Dr. Walker might be able to give me some answers, but he apparently didn't even have time to see me at all. What a different world from politics where donations on the scale of mine would ultimately allow instant access.
Barry, however, helped me with all the questions. When he couldn't answer from personal knowledge, he'd pick up the phone and check with the clinic's man in the individual field.
I keep wondering what the effect is of all these side things I'm picking up, but no one seems to know, Dr. Lamas in San Patrazio being the only one who's making a study of such things. Barry said that appointments with him were tough to get, but he'd try and secure one.
After handing over some new material he'd been collecting for me, Barry explained - logically enough - that most people who've found they have the disease in their system scale down their lives and stay close to home instead of what I've been doing.
With Katie working late to wind everything up before the trip, read through the letters Marcella gave me - first of all, Gina's. She's now left for London, and Kate declared that Odette seemed full of life again, having nurtured a match with a symphony conductor. I have to admit feeling kind of jealous.
Gina sounded more liberated than before - in love with Armand and all the men she'd been introduced to. It gave me heart, but the next letter, from Janet Green, was more than distressing.
Mike had been shot down in Viet Nam, but while he subsequently escaped a prison camp, he's returned broken, now in a Lakewood veteran's hospital. Janet says his psychiatrist wants to see me because Mike keeps mentioning my name.
Going to suggest to Kate that we change our plans, and fly to Frankfurt via LA tomorrow night, so that I can call on him. Janet's plea to do so is something I have to follow up, especially after skipping out on them in Tokyo.

In San Francisco Paul visits his doctor and the clinic that is researching a cure for his disease.

He reads about Gina's visit to Armand's and that his wartime buddy Col. Mike Green has escaped in bad condition from a Viet Cong prison camp.

en route to Germany
Thursday, August 4

Considering what he went through in the Viet Cong prison camp, Mike didn't seem so bad, but when I spoke to his doctor, it turns out that I'm the first person he's communicated with.
It was deeply disturbing news, and I'm heading for Germany with reluctance, wondering if I could have been of help, had we stayed a while longer.

Paul visits Mike at a veterans hospital in southern California, and discovers that his friend's mind is severely impaired, believing that he is still among enemies.
Friday, August 5

Hadn't really expected a chance to drive the car at a race again, but with the fishing trip cancelled, the time was available, and Clive was willing, so against my own better judgment, took out the second machine at the Nurburgring, Katie, the only one of our lady backers here, cheering me on.
What was supposed to be a smaller than usual field turned out to be the opposite with a bunch of Formula 2 vehicles added to the race, and even though I surprisingly had no difficulty handling the Mastin, I got in trouble on my second lap.
There was a crash in the making building up as I approached Aremberg, and I arrived at a terrific mess with cars going in all directions, two of them colliding with me and the car just behind.
It looked like mass slaughter, and I passed out, waking up with a very sore shoulder, but the only driver with a serious injury was one of the Formula 2 boys, Guy Ligier who looked dead when he was thrown from his machine, but just suffered a broken leg.
Though only having wrenched my shoulder, I was taken to the medical station for a check. Nothing broken, just the car, and I feel bad about that.

While testing at the Nurburgring Paul is involved in a serious crash.

Saturday, August 6

We were just about to go out to watch qualifying when Kate got a phone call, turning pale, and quickly reaching for a chair to support herself. Odette has suffered a stroke and died.
I held Katie, and felt shaken myself, but in a moment, she pulled away and said, “I must go to him,” speaking as if I were a desk clerk, someone of no significance.
She didn't pack a thing, just grabbed her handbag and rushed out the door. I followed her, saying I'd drive her to Cologne, and Kate just nodded, like a zombie all the way - in another world.
She came back momentarily when I embraced her at the departure gate, touching my cheek and saying, “you understand, don't you, Paul?”
And then she was gone. I felt frozen, realizing that our romantic life and friendship, however much they were in the forefront, were overwhelmed by my need for Kate as a soul mate to get through each crisis as well as every ordinary day.
If she wasn't with me one day, she would be the next. But now? Though I might have been the one she was with the last three years, at a time like this, it is clearly Armand who possesses her.
My mind was hardly on the Nurburgring where Pete's tenth on the grid was considered OK. Drink seems the only outlet I can think of right now.
Kate learns that Armand's wife Odette has died from a stroke, and rushes off to comfort him.

en route to Spain - Barcelona
Sunday, August 7

It was in a fog that I attended the race and witnessed another non-finish for our Mastin, but everyone's minds were on John Taylor who was pulled out of his flaming car when he collided with Jackie Ickx on the very first lap.
On our way to the airport, Pete and I drove to the hospital in Koblenz, but the word there made it clear that John's life is in great danger. Death seems all around me.


When I spoke to Katie this evening, things seemed normalized. She said that Armand was completely broken up, and she was going to stay on for a few days, and might join Rachel's cruise the following week. It all sounds reasonable enough, maybe not as bad as I imagined.
Pete Gaffney doesn't finish the German Grand Prix, and he and Paul leave for Spain to be guests of team backer Rachel Pike.

at sea from Barcelona to Majorca
Monday, August 8

Rachel was deeply upset about Odette, and as such, said that her summer cruise would cut out the usual round of festivities, and concentrate on relaxation instead.
Her plans for equally matched men and women were also askew with Kate absent, and Rachel's own current beau having to return to the US after the crash of one of his airliners.
I thought she was going to ask me to be her escort - especially after the good time we'd had in Amsterdam, but she went on to explain that a European royal, whom she'd planned to pair off with Princess Ingrid of Sweden, had just broken his leg mountain climbing.
There will be more people joining the cruise later, but for the moment, she's asked me to look after Ingrid. In my present state of mind, I doubt that I'll be much fun for her, but find the young lady very sweet. No call from Kate today.

at sea from Majorca to Nice
Tuesday, August 9

We docked in Majorca, and I took Ingrid shopping, only to run into Ramon WITHOUT Diana. True love apparently couldn't conquer the decrepit state of Ramon's house, and Diana flew straight back to New York after getting one glance at it.
Despite the stars in his eyes over her in Cabo San Lucas, Ramon obviously picked up on the fact I was invited on the cruise. I could see that he had his eye on Ingrid, but was alarmed to find that he expected me to invite him to lunch on Rachel's yacht.
Reminding me how he didn't leave me to die on the drifting raft, I was left in an impossible situation, and he's managed to wangle his way as a guest, possibly to offer the comic relief none of the passengers who knew Odette feel like providing just now.
Rang Kate, and she said her plans were fluid, and that Armand was in very bad shape.

Paul embarks on the cruise aboard Rachel Pike's yacht that he had planned to make with Kate Pierce, and finds that Rachel has paired him off with a Swedish princess.

Paul is at a cafe on Majorca with Princess Ingrid when he is approached by gigolo friend Ramon de Vega who enveigles Paul into inviting him for lunch aboard the yacht, His gigolo routine amuses Rachel, and she invites Ramon as a guest for the rest of the cruise.

at sea from Majorca to Nice
Wednesday, August 10

A quiet day at sea, but I found my shoulder starting to bother me more since I've run out of pain killers. Along with my worry over Kate, it doesn't make me very good company, but Ingrid doesn't seem to notice, and I'm beginning to think that she is another Gina.
A woman of stature in the world, but with the life experience of a 15-year-old.  Very darling though.
One of the other guests, a renowned Turkish surgeon, looked at my arm and gave me some sleeping tablets that would also have an analgesic effect, and said to take aspirins until I go to bed. His wife is a most striking woman - owns a sizable shipping line.
Wandering around the yacht, I've discovered that it's almost a two-class set up. On the four cruises each year that Rachel takes, she regularly brings along some members of her staff and business organization, and I found someone I know on board - Anita Diaz, who runs Rachel's Miami office now. She seemed very closed down and sad.
Going into the library to find a book, I saw a disturbing headline on the LA Times which had arrived via helicopter with the rest of today's mail for the ship.
Reading on, I found that Mike Green had assaulted hospital staff, escaped the psychiatric facility, and had gone on the run, a police manhunt in pursuit after he'd taken a hostage. And if I'd stayed? Would things have been better?


Slept for a couple hours, and woke up from a frightening nightmare in which it was I whom Mike had taken hostage. I'd tried to get him to turn himself in, only to realize that he thought we were in Viet Cong territory, not southern California.
Though he accused me of being a collaborator, I persuaded him it was a trick to get us free, and we then spent two days crossing miles of rough ground. He even set upon some kids around a campfire in order to take their food.
Endless running, like on a treadmill, me with a broken arm, searching for a parallel that kept moving away from us, each time we neared it. At one point, Mike even jerked my arm in an attempt to set it.
It was so real, the pain so intense. But the pills kept me from waking up and escaping the dream which finally ended when I told Mike that the police helicopters which had found us were US craft come to rescue us. But the pilot was an elephant.

Paul continues to spend time with the princess, but is in much pain with his shoulder injury.

After reading that Mike Green has escaped the veterans hospital, and is on the run, Paul dreams that Mike is holding him captive, believing that they are fleeing from the Viet Cong.

at sea from Nice to Capri
Thursday, August 11

We docked at Nice instead of the scheduled port, and a number of guests flew in Rachel's plane to attend Odette's funeral. Maybe it was the pain in my shoulder, but when I saw Kate with Armand, I felt certain that she would not return to me.
The two of them looked desolate, and it seemed Kate was a million miles from me. As broken as they must be, I was more aware of my imminent mortality than any time since I first heard the diagnosis.
Notre Dame was filled to the brim, a massive team of officious and extremely efficient ushers appearing to know exactly where to sit everyone. I knew few of the faces, but couldn't help recognizing the President and Madame de Gaulle embrace both Armand AND Kate.
The scene at the family crypt on Armand's estate outside Paris was even worse. I'd never have gone on my own, but our group were propelled along in Rachel's limousines, and I barely had a word with Kate as she and Armand didn't stay at the huge reception.
She seemed like a ghost, not like I'd ever seen her before. Armand took my hands firmly, and just said “thank you” with deep feeling, then they left the room.
 I went back to the apartment for an hour to be alone, and had pretty much decided not to continue on the cruise, but Rachel sent her assistant after me, and I flew back to Nice with him on a commercial plane, having no real will of my own.
He gave me his copy of the Herald Trib to read, and I saw that Mike had been captured when his hostage escaped uninjured, saying that he'd gone along with Mike to help him.

NOTE:  The "Better World Next Time" episode has been made a dream simply because it ended with Paul having his arm in a cast, necessitating a period of time before it comes off that couldn't be accommodated.

12 - 15 August 1966 ("The Inhuman Predicament" part 2 /
"The Carpella Collection")
Along with other guests on the cruise, Paul flies to Paris for the funeral of Odette de Martignac, and finds Kate accepted as a grieving widow.