Run For Your Life
Starring Ben Gazzara



Paul Bryan's Journal
24 June - 1 July 1965

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8 - 15 June 1965 (Someone Who Makes Me Feel Beautiful / Savage Season part 3: undoing of Angie Zeno)




Tippi Hedren plays a woman who's world was briefly turned around by two men vying for her attention while she was trying to recover from a painful divorce - one a fortune hunter, the other Paul Bryan.

Click the arrow at right to start the video clip.

Return to "Someone Who Makes Me Feel Beautiful" page or
read from Paul's journal about the events of the episode below


Journal Entry
Chronology of Events
Puerto Vallarta
Tuesday, June 8

With Dick and Maria's arrival still a couple days off, I chartered the boat of a most hospitable man who can't do enough for me. His name is Ramon, and he could get a job cooking at The Ritz, He is quite a character, maybe a professional fortune hunter from what I'm gleaning between the lines.
Now relaxing by writing letters and making notes for my journal after a glorious morning of fishing. Not the usual sense of rushing I'd have on a stolen weekend, but a feeling of total freedom with my body returning to strength. A good sign, I think.
As the boatman doesn't appear to speak English, and my Spanish is only adequate for getting by, I have a beautiful sense of being alone at sea, and thinking clearly for the first time since the precipitous departure from San Francisco two months ago.
Though we avoided the subject of my departure, the time with Kate has a lot to do with this clarity, along with the realization that we may never be lovers again. More and more, I think my decision to leave was the right one - even though it has proved hazardous, to say the least.
But what of the future, and for that matter, the past? When I look back at my life, I wonder if I've spent enough of my time helping others, and if I chose the right career - becoming a lawyer because my father was an attorney. I do love the law, but perhaps I should have been working in another area. What can I do now to make up for that?

Paul charters the boat of Ramon de Vega to go sword fishing. Afterwards, he will accept no fee, and suddenly begins speaking English, and the two hit it off immediately.

After Paul goes back to his hotel, the two get together for a drink, and Ramon invites Paul to stay on the boat, telling him that his profession is women, to make them happy - and then collect. But for the moment, he is on vacation, thus the beard, to assist in keeping the ladies away.



Puerto Vallarta
Wednesday - Thursday, June 9 - 10

I am trying to make sense of what has happened. Apparently, I stayed on Ramon's boat Saturday night to get an early start, and then there was the horrific explosion at sea.
My first thought was what a fool I had been to let my guard down, and think I was safe here in Mexico … chartering a boat from a man who didn't communicate? Zeno had found me. And what if I'd brought Kate along?
But Ramon - who I found, speaks perfect English - tells me that he gave me a wrong command when a massive swordfish appeared by the boat.
By following the instruction, it was I who caused the boat to explode, and there we were at sea with one raft, one injured man, and Ramon with the impossible proposition of trying to drag me to shore.
It's all mostly a blur, and I think I was going in and out of consciousness, but remember telling him to swim to shore on his own, which seemed the only possibility of either of us making it. When he refused, I told him that if he continued to try and pull the raft, he might be losing his life to save only a few months of mine.
But that seemed to make him even more determined, and the next thing I remember is the miracle of being on a beach, and people putting me onto a stretcher.
In the morning I woke up in the home of Jessica Braeden, a woman Ramon had told me was a millionairess who'd attempted suicide after a painful and highly publicized divorce.
Could see how flawed judgment might have caused her to marry the wrong man, as her assessment of Ramon was that she found him shy.
That he had designs on her became immediately apparent when he arrived here this morning - the beard shaven off.  He is no longer on vacation from fortune hunting, and I just can't let him take Jessica in.  She is far too vulnerable.
On the other hand, this is the man who saved my life by risking his own, and the fact that he's lost everything is partly my fault.  I know too much about boats to have reacted without thinking, and just got overexcited about the big fish.
He took her dancing tonight, and I was out on the beach testing out my bad leg (read, waiting for them to come home), and witnessed him kissing her. Ramon rightly called me a voyeur, but for the wrong reason.
I'd been muddling around all day, trying to decide how to play this. I owe him my life- and also like him very much, so I told him that I wouldn't do anything to prevent his courting Jessica, or expose him as a giggolo but I was interested in her myself.
That was raindrops on the sea to him, and he told me - in the most friendly way - that I was in over my head. How true, how true, but trying to detract her from his clutches is the only way I can act with fairness to both.

A hasty move when a big fish appears, and Ramon's boat blows up. Paul is injured, and Ramon must swim the life raft to shore. Paul tells him to save himself as he's towing a dead man, but Ramon believes Paul's prognosis to be even more of a reason to rescue him.

They make it to shore by the home of wealthy Jessica Braeden, who gives Paul a room for the night.

When Ramon comes to visit the next day, his boat lost, he must "go back to work," and has thus shaven off his beard. His prime target is wealthy Jessica Braeden who has just gone through a painful divorce.

Ramon takes Jessica dancing, and embraces her on the beach when they return. She is upset by his advances, everything moving too fast for her, and hurries into the house.

Paul is nearby, and has observed what happened. He warns Ramon against making a conquest of the fragile Jessica, even points out that she tried to kill herself, but Ramon remains undaunted.

As a last resort, Paul tells him that he won't have an open field with Jessica, but Ramon merely replies that, in competing with a professional, Paul is in over his head.


Puerto Vallarta
Friday - Saturday, June 11 - 12

Jessica has been keeping a low profile here, feeling that everyone is observing her, but when we were out today, she spotted a dear friend she'd gone to finishing school in Switzerland with, and told me that her old classmate had also recently been through a messy divorce.
Francesca asked us to join her for lunch, and it turns out that she's now married to an Italian count. When she mentioned living in Trieste, I told her that I'd been racing there recently, and she lit up and said that if I'd still be in Mexico next week, I must participate in a motor race she sponsors every year.
Explained that I didn't have a car available, and Jessica chimed in that there was still an old Mastin road racer at her own home, just north of Acapulco. She was sure, because she had just been reading through her property inventories. That caused a note of gloom, and the Countess interjected and said that I must come to her home for dinner as soon as I arrived for the race - as if it were now all a fait accomplit.
When we got home, Jessica rang the care taker in Acapulco, and asked him to have a mechanic get the Mastin ready for me. But despite the excitement over this possibility of participating in a race without it being organized by Pete, I am feeling even more guilty and confused about Jessica.
Though it's clear that I've fended Ramon off, and she's enjoying the pleasure of his company without losing her heart, Jessica is clearly getting emotionally involved with me, and I have no one to blame but myself if she ends up being hurt after all - and at my hands rather than Ramon's.
Earlier, she asked a frighteningly perceptive question about whether I had lost someone, and I started to wonder if I'm a walking advertisement for the predicament that made me leave San Francisco. If Jessica, who described Ramon as shy, could observe this in me, I need to harden up.
No one said it was an easy situation, and when you plunge yourself head first into a moral dilemma, it's near impossible to do the right thing. For starters, though, I've moved back to the hotel.

Both men take Jessica out, but she is clearly falling for Paul.



Puerto Vallarta
Sunday, June 13

Things started coming to a head today, and I know that, while playing a kind of poker game with Ramon, I'm also playing with Jessica's heart.
We all went out fishing this morning, at first in good spirits, but some barb I made sent Ramon down below in a last-straw kind of huff. To appease him, Jessica followed, and when she returned topside, she was white as a sheet, and looked barely able to hold herself together.
I've intervened too much to take another step in this, and we returned home in virtual silence, Jessica going below for most of the ride back.
Rang Pete at his father's place, and told him about the Acapulco race. He said he'll be flying back to Monaco on Wednesday, and if I joined him, we'd be able to talk about the team.

The three go fishing together, and Ramon, seeing that Paul is succeeding with Jessica, goes below in annoyance. She follows him, and he asks her to come to Spain with him. When she indicates that she can't because of her involvement with Paul, Ramon blurts out that Paul is dying.

Puerto Vallarta
Monday, June 14

Ramon shocked me this morning by saying that he was leaving for Europe, but as an act of faith, we've made a pact to go fishing next May 14 in Puerto Zaguaro.
Couldn't reach Jessica all day, but her maid said that I should call over in the evening, and with Dick and Maria having meantime arrived, I went out fishing on their boat.
All seemed right with the world, and then came a radio message that someone in San Francisco was urgently trying to reach me. I asked Maria to check it out, and she came back with the message, “the yellow fish is ready to mount on the wall.”
Angie Zeno was dead. I threw off my shoes and dived into the water.  Dick and Maria obviously thought I was crazy, but I felt reborn. Talked to Jim Seaborne on the phone when we got back, and he said it was best if I returned to San Francisco immediately to record a deposition. I am not a suspect, he assured, but it was better to make things tidy.
Spent the evening with Jessica, and all the strange behavior of herself and Ramon is now explained. She revealed that he told her on the boat yesterday about my prognosis.
Though like a wounded dove, she was stronger than I expected. I knew in my heart that I could be responsible for a second suicide attempt, but she appeared very much in balance, and ready to start her life again, seemingly undamaged despite allowing herself to become attached to someone who could not remain with her.

Ramon leaves for Europe. Paul learns that Angie Zeno is dead, and tells Jessica that he is leaving in the morning.


Puerto Vallarta - San Francisco
Tuesday, June 15

Took an early morning flight back to San Francisco. Jim explained that Zeno had apparently been so rattled by my threats that he'd made a virtual fortress of his home, and refused to leave it despite immense police protection.
Jim's theory was that Torre had taken advantage of the weakness, and had Zeno shot, he being the one who had pocketed the $200,000. I was definitely off the hook.
Recorded my statement, and then Judy Collins walked in, apologizing for any harm she brought to me. I reassured  her that everything was fine, then made a quick exit. Before going home to unwind, went over to Kate's with the inlaid jewelry box I'd bought her in Mexico.
The sense of indifference she radiated chilled me. “You understand,” she said, “I can't go on using our relationship as a crutch in my recovery.” Is that Katie speaking or her doctor? When her goodbye was, “now, go and have some wonderful adventures, romantic and otherwise,” I knew I was being sent away, and have to respect the delicacy of her emotional state.
Pete dispelled a little of my gloom when he came over with a Mastin road racer he'd found somewhere, and gave me some driving lessons. I never thought I'd be able to laugh so much again, but think I know enough now not to wreck Jessica's car.
He said getting thrown in at the deep end like this will give me a good idea of whether we should be thinking of me as a driver as much as team principal or navigator, so I said that since I had no experience at the other two either, why not.
After dinner we headed for the airport, and I was glad of his company to avoid facing up to the realization that Kate and I are separated again..


16 June - 1 July 1965 ( pilot episode "Rapture at Two Forty")

Paul returns to San Francisco to record a deposition of his version of events surrounding Angie Zeno's death.