Ben Gazzara & Katherine Crawford in Run For Your LifeBen Gazzara & Katherine Crawford in Run For Your LifeBen Gazzara & Katherine Crawford in Run For Your Life

Run For Your Life
Starring Ben Gazzara



Paul Bryan's Journal
1 - 11 April 1965

              Top Ten Episodes          Paul Bryan's Journal (& Chronology of Events)



16 June  - 1 July 1965 ( pilot episode Rapture at Two Forty)



Paul has just left San Francisco, with the hope of squeezing 30 years of living into one or two when he encounters Leslie Thursten (Katherine Crawford), a woman he sizes up as indestructible, and the kind of person he needs to emulate. But they fall in love. For her, it's the first time.

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Return to "Rapture at Two Forty" page or read from Paul's journal about the events of the episode below

Journal Entry
Chronology of Events
Paris
Wednesday, June 16

Pete flew on to Nice, but I decided to spend the day at my apartment, and catch up on things there. Instead, I sacked out, ever waking up from short and upsetting dreams about Kate. How could it be over when we'd just found each other again? I have to put this out of my mind.
Am going to hit as many night spots as I can, and see what turns up.

Paris - Monte Carlo
Thursday, June 17

After breakfast at a sidewalk café caught a mid-day flight to Nice. Pete gave me a white knuckles ride to Monte Carlo in his new sportscar.
Got another taste of his social life in Monaco tonight. The girl he had on his arm this evening was glittering about a nearby resort called Actif. Though he's given me free reign in his apartment, with Pete off to Tehran tomorrow, think I'll go check it.
Our discussions during the trip here have been productive, and we agreed to finalize documents for the racing partnership at Silverstone.

Monte Carlo - Actif
Friday, June 18

Despite having Pete's car available, decided to take the train to Actif, and it is just like walking into the magazine articles Kate showed me. The minute I arrived, sensed I had done the right thing. Now to try and come to terms with her decision about us. With the strength she gave me now absent, I need to resolve the situation and find my own source.
Perhaps a girl I observed just after getting off the train is the answer. Unlike Kate, she seemed made of steel. I could sense it instantly from afar, and need to find the secret.
Her name is Leslie Thursten, and I've made a plan to meet her tomorrow. Scuba diving would appear to be entrée to her world. Have rented some equipment to try out in the bath. It's been ages since I did anything like this. Ramon had suggested it, but I was wary over Angie Zeno. Now I wish we had - but think I'll have the knack again soon enough.
Paul arrives in Paris and spends the night there.








Paul moves on to the Riviers, and after a night in Monte C arlo, takes a tip to visit the resort of Actif









Paul arrives in Actif on the French Riviera, and spots daredevil Leslie Thurston. He is determined to meet her, and rents scuba diving equipment to be able to go diving with her.

Actif, France
Saturday, June 19

A tale of morning and afternoon, and how, within a few hours, something light-hearted and positive could turn into a terrible reminder of how close death is.
Used the scuba equipment in my bath, and got the hang of it. All about the breathing, as I remembered from R&R days in Japan. Anyhow, I'd always been a good free diver, so was ready to take on the challenge, the first one to get on the yacht Leslie and some friends swam to. Told them I was a pal of the owner. This crowd would be easy to play poker with.
The group were running a kind of pool on how deep everyone would dive, so to get Leslie's attention, I put down a depth greater than hers. Worked like magic, and I got her to have lunch with me.
She puts on a lot of bravado to match her adventurous lifestyle, but I think she's a very dear person inside. Her eyes revealed that, but she was throwing curves all over the place with her talk.
Any come hither stuff brought out that she considered herself straight laced. She quoted Nitsche, but clearly hadn't read or thought much about what he said.
And yet, she was no fake. A really genuine person. Introduced me to her father who walks with a limp after being clawed, hunting tigers with a spear. Were I looking for something beyond the California Bar Association, I surely came to the right place.
Leslie insisted that I try sky diving.  With her, any time, but I didn't have the heart to admit how many planes I'd jumped out of in training and in Korea. Did admit I didn't know the yacht owner, and went to his boat only to meet her. Interestingly, she seemed neither flattered nor annoyed.
Then, suddenly, a grim cloud covered everything when we learned that Henri, a real nice guy who put down the same depth as mine, died doing his dive. Everyone departed quickly, and I went back to the bath tub to practice my breathing.
Don't know how long I should stay here. Being aware that Kate is not really there for me, no more than a half hour went by today without my thinking about the diagnosis,. What happened to Henri didn't help a lot, and spending the time “practice diving” in the bath really offered too much time for reflection.
As usual the jet lag is really setting in now. Though I was exhausted, and mercifully fell asleep soon as my head touched the pillow last night, I am wide awake now, and it's getting later and later - and I'm thinking much too much.
Paul bluffs his way onto a yacht where Leslie is diving, and by predicting that he'll get even deeper than she will, draws her attention, and she accepts his lunch invitation, but when they return, they learn that a man who went for the same depth as Paul's has died, and activities are abandoned for the day. Paul becomes acquainted with Leslie's father, another dare devil adventurer.


Actif
Sunday, June 20

Henri's body was brought to the church today. I have to castigate myself, because all I could think of was my own mortality, instead of the bright life that has been lost.
Only saw Leslie briefly, but was shocked when she told me - quite emphatically - that she was going to go ahead with her dive tomorrow.

Actif
Monday, June 21

Henri's funeral was today, and I had a long talk with Leslie's father. His son was Mark Thurston, the racing driver. Never connected him to Leslie and her dad, though I'd heard Pete mention him often. They were pals, and suddenly I realized the “armor-plated sister” Pete spoke of was none other than Leslie.
After her brother was killed on the track, it seems like she's trying to live the life Mark would have. One glance from her father, and she takes on the most daring thing she can do - for no special reason.
We had a quiet drink in the evening, and we talked mostly about Henri, all the noble qualities Leslie admired in him. I found myself liking her even more.

Actif
Tuesday, June 22

Went out to the yacht in a launch this time.  Despite her positive attitude yesterday, Leslie was extremely tense about making her dive. This girl I believed so invincible really does have a soft center.
I guess we were all thinking about Henri when she went into the water, and held our breaths when Leslie got to the depth he started to lose control. But she didn't miss a beat making the dive, and standing alongside her father, I learned more about her amazing character.
Let it be noted, Leslie completed a perfect dive, and I started down while she was decompressing.  It got a little hairy at one point.  I don't remember much, but found myself hallucinating. However, when I came up, they said that I'd done 250 feet.  Bit of a triumph, so at least I have something to say for this day.



Paul and Leslie become a little closer.







Henri's funeral takes place










Leslie attempts her dangerous dive, and Paul goes even deeper, but experiences hallucinations. He takes her out that evening, and rejecting his romantic overtures, she tells him that she's never been in love.

Actif
Wednesday, June 23

The dive took more out of me than I expected, and I ended up spending much of the day out on my balcony. Leslie accepted my invitation for a drink - but still won't have dinner with me.  Maybe tomorrow, she says, when she knows me better.

Actif
Thursday, June 24

At lunch Leslie finally agreed to have dinner with me, but was off with her friends as soon as we finished our coffee.
When we were dancing this evening, I thought there was something happening between us, but she cut it off the moment I tried to kiss her. Said she'd never been in love - not even a school-girl crush - because she'd never met a real man.
It made me think hard not just about her, but about myself, and how I am going to occupy my time in the next seven months. Maybe I need a better centerpoint than racing.
The puritan in me has already risen. Instead of hunting pleasure, I've decided to salvage the hidden woman in Leslie Thurston. She's a fine human being, but she's headed nowhere, and I have to do more than spend the rest of my life lying on a beach.

Paul recovers from the dive, but Leslie remains implacable.




Paul and Leslie go dancing, but she still avoids even a kiss.

Actif
Friday, June 25

What a man must do to win a lady's attention. Thought I'd parachuted from my last plane in Korea, but because Leslie wanted me to, I jumped out of one with her today
It wasn't anything I could relate to from combat - or even training.  A beguiling sense of having left the world - and having stopped time. Extending freefall made me feel as if I had control over my fate, something I'd completely lost.
Really challenged Leslie's will by waiting until the last second to pull the rip cord. Still headier was her kiss, and the prospect of being with her tonight.

Actif
Saturday to Monday, June 26 - 28

It appears we were both looking for someone indestructible, as those last moments in the sky turned everything around, and though I never intended anything this serious to happen, now we are lovers.
These days are not really what I was seeking, but have been a balm for my soul that I couldn't have believed possible. I've never experienced such rapture before, or fallen in love so deeply, so fast, so passionately .

Leslie gets Paul to go sky diving, and between plane and ground, some magic happens, and she falls in love with him.


Paul and Leslie spend every possible moment together
Actif,
Tuesday, June 29

Before the diagnosis I hadn't been sick a day in my life; even managed to stay uninjured in Korea. And now, here I am once again hospitalised - this time in Hôpital La Fontonne.
The doctors say it's nothing serious, just some sprains and strains, but they want to keep me overnight for observation in case of concussion. No pain in my head, but that's about the only place I don't ache .
We were going to go for a picnic, and then Leslie remembered promising to drive her friend's car in a road race, and invited me to navigate.  She's a brilliant driver, and I was impressed.
But apparently, someone walked into the path of the race ….. can't remember anything, just being put into an ambulance ….. and Leslie completely broke down, thinking that she'd almost killed me.
Yesterday I told her that in time  I would be moving on, and thought that she accepted that, but in the ambulance, she suggested that we have ten children before such a departure might take place. Then she begged me to take her along, and to this sweet girl, so trusting and endearing, I couldn't just say no, but told her about the prognosis.
She had been so tearful, I probably chose the wrong time, but she's taken it as well as a girl in love could.  She stayed with me until I fell asleep, and said that she would be as brave as I wanted her to be.

Paul navigates for Leslie in a road race, but when she swerves to avoid someone walking across the road, Paul is injured. Leslie realizes how much she loves him, and he is forced to tell her that he is dying.



Actif
Wednesday, June 30

Maybe I was right about Leslie being indestructible. She came to the hospital this morning to drive me to her father's villa where we've been staying, and delivered the news that she's going back to Philadelphia to start a different kind of life.
She was tender-hearted, and only made oblique references to what I told her yesterday.  In obvious pain, but warm and loving without pity. Maybe I could have stuck around a little while longer with her, but the clean break is best.
She's leaving tomorrow, and had a lot of plans to take care of, so I decided to move back to the hotel, and let her get on with it. We said our goodbyes there, as she admitted she might not be able to go through with it if I saw her off at the train.

Actif - Paris - en route to Acapulco
Thursday, July 1

At my Paris apartment …. I love writing that …. found a note that the car is waiting for me at Jessica's home near Acapulco. Also a letter from Eileen, asking me to come and see her this month. Such a pleasing thought, but it's difficult to get Leslie from the forefront of my mind. Our touching relationship cut off so abruptly, I'll always think of the hours with her as precious and sweet. There is so much in my head, but the pen doesn't seem to cooperate, and sleep is calling.


2 - 11 July 1965 ("Three Passengers for the Lusitania" /
"Hang Down Your Head and Laugh")
Paul is released from the hospital with his arm in a sling. Leslie tells him she's going back to the USA.