Run For Your Life
Starring Ben Gazzara



Paul Bryan's Journal
18  - 22 October 1965

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18 - 22 October 1965 ("The Shock of Recognition" / "A Girl Named Sorrow" )

Actor Charlie Harrod (Farley Granger) offers a classic drunk scene as he attempts to defy his managers who call all the shots in his life - including their attempt to keep him from marrying his beloved Anna Birrel (Marlyn Mason).

Click the arrow at right to start the video clip.



Return to "The Shock of Recognition" page or read from Paul's journal about the events of the episode below


Chronology of Events
Journal Entry


At the Madrid airport Paul encounters Anna Birrell whom he knew from his college days. She is working for a film company, and awaiting the arrival of her former fiancé, actor Charlie Harrod, whom she is still in love with.

She talks about plans for a romantic night with Paul, but more about Harrod, and the entourage of manager, PR man and agent who control his life, much to her dismay.

Harrod thinks Paul is a rival for Anna's heart, and in a drunken state, follows them to a restaurant. They get him back to his hotel, but he is crying for Anna.

Once again, she offers herself as a romantic prospect to Paul - but for the next day.
Madrid,
Monday, October 18

There was no omen when I arrived in Madrid. No miracle of Nicole suddenly there as I stepped off the train. Though I believed that I could will this to happen by the sheer force of wanting her so much, whether she is in this city or not, it only feels empty of hope.

So I went to the airport this morning with the idea of going to the first counter in sight, and taking the first flight on offer.

Instead, an omen happened before I got that far. Or so it seems. I heard a feminine voice calling my name, but it wasn't in a French accent.

Instead, when I turned around, my eyes saw Anna, that sister of my fraternity brother Bud Birrell, a girl who'd had an unabashed crush on me when I was in law school

She's grown up now, and has been working for a film company here in Spain for the last six years, and was even engaged to that movie star Charlie Harrod, In fact, the two of them were just about to have a reunion, and Anna was at the airport to meet Harrod (and entourage), who's come to Madrid to make a picture.

Still in a fog of grief over Nicole, I was baffled when the actor asked me if I were his rival for Anna, but before I could say that I'd only seen her a few minutes in ten years, his agent, PR man and manager had bustled him away.

Anna and I had a drink in the airport bar, and she went on and on about Harrod, even apologizing to me about our “date,” which I only vaguely remember her suggesting when we met earlier.

But burying my misery in her arms seemed as good a way to get drunk as any, and I tried to be as warm as I could under the circumstances. In response she spoke of how much of a woman she would be tonight, then turned around and started about Harrod again.

To me it was all equal. Nothing matters.

But I took her out anyway, and who should show up but Harrod, bombed out of his mind.

Wasn't I handy there, to get him back to the hotel, and for my pains, Harrod declared me to be his enemy. If he only knew the years I had tried to avoid this chick and still be a gentleman. I didn't feel an awful lot different now.

Harrod's jerk of a manager was at the hotel when we got there, and in the mood I was in, he was the last person I wanted to see.

Anna's promised night of unending pleasures seemed to have become lost in the shuffle, and I was grateful to be able to go back to my room and spend the night alone.

Feeling down and out I rang Eileen at her new place in Arizona, and told her I'd be out that way in a few days. Her chirpy manner lifted me a little - just to know that she was regaining her equilibrium - Bumble style, anyway.

We talked a long time, and when she asked about my forward plans, I told her about GB's last race of the European season in Athens, and casually asked her if she'd like to come with me. “A maybe with a plus” was her answer.
In the morning Paul finds that Anna has left Madrid for a bull ranch where Harrod is planning to enter the ring. Paul drives out, and Harrod is more friendly, and asks him to stay as his guest, but still worries about Anna running off with him.

Torrejon de Ardoz,
Tuesday, October 19

This odious Frank Glass, Harrod's manager, was on to me this morning with gifts, and fearful that Harrod and I might come to blows over Anna. What planet do these people live on? Why didn't I just keep walking when she called my name?

She'd left me her car, and taken off with Harrod, so I was planning just to leave it at the airport, but Glass left me a note that I should go out to a bullfighting school Harrod and Anna had run off to.

Now, who's the crazy one?  But I couldn't resist the lure of seeing the place, and was starting to get the feeling that that omen really was within touch.

As delicately as I could, I let Anna know that I was moving on, and she told me that Harrod had bought a bull in order to fight it in the ring.

The actor came over then, and offered some kind of apology for last night, but seems to still think that I'm interested in Anna, and that she might run off with me.  She might want to, but enough is enough.

Harrod also introduced me to the proprietor of the bull ranch, then invited me to stay over as his guest. He wants me to try my hand at the sport, admitting that it might help to keep him from looking too awful in the ring. He's not such a bad guy when one gets to know him.

Though asked to join everyone for the evening, begged off after dinner. I just need to be alone with my thoughts right now.
Both Harrod and Paul have taken lessons from the distinguished retired matador who runs the bull ranch, and though Harrod's manager has been dead set against the actor going into the bull ring, he changes his mind, and decides to make it a publicity event.

Harrod manages to convince Paul to go into the ring and make a few passes with the bull, then Harrod goes takes his turn, but stops after only a brief encounter.

The press are fascinated, the entourage livid, but Harrod is satisfied with himself, having accomplished his purpose. He says that he saw himself - a manipulated individual - in the eyes of the bull, and gives orders to the once controlling entourage, then goes off with Anna whom they don't like around him.

Paul has a second, and more private, encounter with the bull, and leaves Spain.
s
Torrejon de Ardoz - en route to Arizona,
Wednesday, October 20

The matador gave us some instruction in dispatching the bull with a sword. I found the whole thing disgusting, and always wonder, when I leave a bull ring, just why I came.

Glass came over and said that he'd bring the press over that afternoon to see Harrod fight his bull, but the matador said that he wasn't ready. Nevertheless, the three-ring media circus Anna predicted started to assemble.

In the midst of all the madness, my omen started to reveal itself. The matador told me that a man lives a year each time the bull goes by him in the ring, and when Harrod offered me a few minutes with his bull, I thought my moment may have come. To live or to die.

From some bit of luck, I actually got fairly close, and lived to tell the tale, then watched Charlie enter the ring. But after a couple passes, he walked away.

I think all that had nothing to do with bull fighting, and everything to do with the symbiotic relationship with his entourage.     Whether this moment of independence from them will last is anybody's guess. Not really my concern.

The press, the entourage, Harrod, Anna and the master matador, everyone was gone from the ring, and the bull stood there alone.

This was my moment. He was the oracle. The way I felt now, I had no desire to live another day, and here was the one who could end it all for me. I willed it so, but  if he only injured me, I would go back to some form of my old life, and if he retreated, then I am meant to continue as I have since April.

I stepped into the enclosure, and advanced towards the bull, but he just walked away.

So I went farther into the ring, and called out to him, but he didn't move. He actually seemed to shake his head.

After coming out of the ring I took one look back. The bull was watching me this time, as if to say, you only get one chance.

So I borrowed Anna's car again, drove to the airport and picked up a flight for Arizona to meet up with Lisa and her gliding wizard …. And see my beloved Bumble

Paul flies to Arizona to keep a date with Lisa Sorrow, an Israeli agent in search of the Nazi war criminal Ernst Mannheim. She has more or less tricked Paul into joining her on the pretext of a love of gliding.

Since the war, Mannheim has been living under the alias Dave Kafka, someone supposed to be a victim rather than power in the Third Reich. He is presently operating a flying school in Arizona

Lisa alerts other agents that Mannheim has left his flying school, but though they capture him, he outwits and kills them, shocking Lisa when he returns.

Not telling him what she is up to, Lisa solicits Paul's assistance to follow Mannheim, and Paul walks to town to rent a car.

When he returns to the flying school, for the sake of reason, the broadcast episode and the journal differ, and Paul dreams the action of the episode, which offers too many untenable situations. (See Anomalies at the end of the journal entry.)

In the episode, Mannheim has taken a fast loan on his property, and escapes by night with Paul and Lisa following a distance behind in the direction of the Mexican border.

When they are stopped by police, Mannheim himself stops, and then lies in wait, shooting at them when they eventually pass. Their car won't go any further, but Lisa jumps out and punctures the gas tank of Mannheim's truck.

Paul and Lisa wait where they are to follow Mannheim's footprints after daybreak. They locate his truck, and Lisa knocks Paul out, and insists on proceeding on her own, but he gets her to let him continue, Lisa holding him at gunpoint.

They travel through open brush land all day, seeking cover from Mannheim's rifle where they can - which is little.

Eventually, he shoots at them, and Lisa is wounded slightly. They wait overnight, and Paul seeks Mannheim out on his own, Shots ring out, but Paul continues his approach, now having Lisa's gun. But he finds Mannheim dead of apparent natural causes.

Lisa becomes hysterical, thinking that Paul has killed the man she must bring back alive for trial, but then realizes that Paul didn't shoot him
en route to Greece,
Thursday - Friday, October 21 - 22

Rang Eileen when I got into Phoenix, and she said that she felt up to going to Athens with me. I told her that I wasn't yet sure whether I'd be leaving tomorrow or the next day, but would be by anon. Dave Kafka, Lisa's soaring guru brought me out to his flying school. I watched her glide, and she looked like she was making improvements, but Kafka said that she wouldn't be ready for the competition I come to help her with.

It was a pleasant place to stay, anyway, and great to swim and relax by the private pool. I was certainly ready to unwind, and Lisa's company helps me to keep my mind on the present.

But how close unwinding was to unravelling. Lisa started to act strangely, and when Kafka came back from town, she became extremely agitated, and I found her outside his window, holding a gun.

She gave me some thin explanation about Kafka being a wanted man, and said that he was about to make a getaway. Without offering any more, I felt reluctant to get involved, but told her to wake me up if she needed me.

That night I had the most vivid dream that, as Pete had thought, Lisa was an Israeli agent, and she was on the trail of Ernst Mannheim. In the dream we followed him in the dead of night along a deserted road heading for the border until he shot at us and disabled our car. Lisa paid him an equal compliment and punctured his gas tank, so that all three of us were on foot.

From that point, it became a “dream on a loop,” and everything kept repeating itself, with endless walking through desertified brush.  Then Kafka was shooting at us, and then we'd keep going again. Then we were both elephants being shot at. Eventually, the dream just petered out when I found Kafka/Mannheim just dead against a rock, and woke up.

When I awoke in the morning the whole complex was deserted. No sign of Kafka or Lisa, but a note from her in my pocket. It said “replacements arrived, but subject took poison.” I could guess at what it meant, but never be quite sure. Maybe the answer was in my dream.

I rang Bumble, and she said she was ready to go. Her current Miss Smith picked me up at the flying school, and now Bumble and I are winging our way to Greece. It's such a good feeling to be with her, a relief to find her so much like the love of my past.


Anomalies in “A Girl Named Sorrow”:

Israeli agents capture a man, but don't bind him, enabling him to kill them
Lisa goes after the Nazi war criminal with a gun, and wearing a swimsuit
She also dresses inappropriately when searching for someone wearing white clothing.
Paul spends three consecutive nights without sleep
Paul and Lisa spend two nights in near-desert conditions with no covering or warm clothing
A policeman stops Paul driving for the border without lights. Either it is incongruous that police time would be wasted on such a lonely road, or he would have searched Paul's car for contraband.
Paul and Lisa spend over 48 hours in the desert with only one canteen of water and no food.
They run out in the open when pursuing a man with a shotgun.He does manage to hit them, but they remain fully exposed afterwards, but are not killed.
Lisa's wound to her armhas absolutely no effect on her, and she is able to move and wave it with no difficulty.
Another anomaly of sorts is the question why Lisa inveigled Paul into being in Arizona with her. If she required assistance, a trained Israeli agent would have been the appropriate party.

23  - 29 October 1965 (prequel 1 of "Flight From Tirana" - Interlude with Eileen Henderson)